Are you wondering what ever happened to that desire to make love in the beginning stages of your relationship?
The feeling you experienced in the “Newly wed” stage? For most, it was something new and exciting to experiment with; but as time went on, did you find your bedroom habits become routine. Maybe we forgot what made it so special. Here are seven ways to set the mood and make your time together just as exciting as the first time you made love…or better!
In the early days of your relationship, only one real thing mattered: each other. Oftentimes our biggest inhibitor is ourselves. With all the daily demands we have in our lives, one may find it hard to focus on our partners. This may be easier said than done, but eliminate or reduce distractions by planning an evening to be extra special. Put down the cellphones (heck turn them off), send the kids away with the babysitter, and give you and your partner a break from everything else.
We decided to go with smell first because bad smell is a HUGE turn off! Why do you think so many companies invest and sell lots of money into lotions, body washes, and soaps. If I said think of a flower, BOOM! Your mind can recall from your memory a picture of a flower! Now if I said smell pumpkin pie, your mind has a hard time conjuring the scents of pumpkin pie without the scent present. Smell is the only sense that we are not able to remember immediately. We need a stimulus or a trigger. Scent is the first to go so it ought to be the first to show, it will set the tone for the rest of the evening. Try setting the mood with some jasmine, lavender, and peppermint oil.
(Read more about it in our article “Setting the Mood with Essential Oils”)
The sense of sound can be very powerful in creating the “Newlywed” atmosphere. Sound can be effective by sounds you have on in the background or the sounds you make together. If you are in the mood for more peace and quiet, then here is some advice. Start by turning on some music to put you in the mood. Try something with saxophone (more like sex-o-phone am I right Ladies? Gentlemen? ;), love songs, or of course, your song. You know the one; it’s the song that played when you first met, first fell in love or danced to at your wedding. In fact, if you have your wedding playlist still, put that on!
When it comes to creating sensual sounds together, first things first; figure out how loud you and your partner want to be. If loudness is of no importance then go ahead. Be spontaneous, have at each other. A lady shared a story about having children at home. She mentioned that when she and her husband are at home, they stay very quiet. When they have getaways, she loses all inhibitions and it becomes Hotel a la Steaminess. Talk with your partner about what you would like to do to achieve the “Newlywed” atmosphere through sound.
Remember earlier when you were asked to think of a flower? The easiest accessible parts of our memory are image. This is your opportunity to put on some special lingerie that you’ve been saving for a special occasion. Wearing a stunning outfit that you normally don’t wear could be fun. Try some role play and dress up in something sexy such as swimsuits. Pick a color to incorporate in your outfit and roll with it. May I recommend something with red? Red invokes passion, love, and desire. Whatever you choose, make it exciting and fresh.
(For more details see our article on Creating Romance with Color.)
Touch is something far overlooked in our day and age. People expect instant gratification and focus on the end game of achieving orgasm. If that is our focus, we miss out on the sexy excitement of foreplay. Light touch and tickling can be used to start the evening. Don’t rush it, let each other know you love each other and try do this without saying any words at all.
Consider your partner’s day. Have they been walking or moving a lot; give them a foot rub. If your partner has had a stressful day, give them a shoulder rub. If you’re not very good at massages refer to our article about 5 tips to remember on giving massages.
- Remember that massages are for the muscle, not the skin. Simply rubbing the skin builds up friction and that can hurt and case rashes!
- Your fingers may get tired, take a break, stretch your fingers
- Use a lotions! Believe me this makes a world of difference! It can also add to the aroma of the evening (see Step 2)
- Listen to your partner! We don’t always know what’s best- communicate with each other!
- If all else fails just scratch their back.
Give them compliments. Let them know how much you care about them. Tell them why you missed them that day.
Taste is one of the easiest senses to include in your nightly adventures. Before we get into any of the sweet and sexy details, you may want to buy a special sheet and use it to make cleanup easier. Get it dark so it’ll hide the states. Also, the vaginally area on a woman can be extremely sensitive to food because it can mess up the pH balance. Make sure that if you use anything flavors in that area for a woman, that the products are safe. Most oral or flavor lubricants can be used. This will help avoid any future vaginal infections.
Find a way to include your favorite treats in the evening. Chocolate is a classic treat to incorporate in the bedroom. If you heat it up a little bit it can spread easier (we are not talking about the high heat of molten lava; just warm enough to make it sexy). Honey is another classic (it, too, can also be warmed to play with the senses). And think of the many movies and tv shows that joke about using whipped cream during romantic times. Easy and fun. Keep in mind it’s cold and melts fast so use it lightly. Edible body oils and lotions are available as another fun option. You can even spice up the night with things like pop-rocks. Don’t forget to add some foods that are known as aphrodisiacs (food that can increase sexuality). Some of these are oysters, asparagus, celery, and watermelon.
If you have noticed that your bedroom routine is becoming a little bland, consider going camping together where the noises you make can only be heard by the animals. Consider a stay-cation, a vacation you take in your hometown and rent a hotel/motel room. If you have children, take them to a babysitter’s home, so you have the house to yourself. Encourage sleepovers so you have one less kid to worry about. Send them to be spoiled by their grandparents. In doing these things, you can change the scenery which can spice up your sex life in a big way!
Most of all try to be adventurous and try new things and let each other each other know that you love and care about them sure happy they’re in your life. By following these steps mixing it up a little bit having fun together you can feel like Newlyweds better how long it’s been since your wedding day. Remember mood backwards is doom. Don’t doom your evening by skipping over these important steps to set the mood.
I miss anything let me know in the comments below I’d be happy to write a part 2!