At one time or another, you have probably been curious about oral sex. You may have never tried it because it seems intimidating. Or perhaps you did try it, but you are just looking for some more tips and tricks. Wherever you are at, we hope this article will help you. The following are some suggestions that you can pick and choose from. As always, if at the end of the day you decide you hate oral sex, don’t feel obligated to do it again. However, if you give it a try, you may be pleasantly surprised by how empowered and sexy it can make you feel.
It’s usually best if he’s just showered (you can even start in the shower). It’s also recommended that you brush your teeth, not only afterward, but before as well. Have you ever heard of checking your breath by licking your hand and sniffing it? Yeah… you’ll want to be minty fresh. Using minty toothpaste may also add a cool breeze to the experience for him. On that same note, don’t be offended if he doesn’t want to kiss you on the lips directly afterward.
Not just good advice for your general health, hydrating will help you have enough saliva to create the necessary lubricant.
Depending on the position, this can be a super sexy way to see him enjoying himself, and also adds to the fun for him.
Keep the Teeth Away
This might sound pretty obvious since you know not to bite him. However, it is helpful to keep in the back of your mind, as your jaw may begin to get tired and you may find your teeth starting to scrape against him if you’re not careful. If this starts to happen, either open wider if you can, or pull away to give your jaw a break. You can keep the momentum going by licking him to let him know you want to keep going, but you’re switching things up.
Don’t overwhelm yourself by assuming you need to start by deep-throating him to completion. Don’t assume you have to do that at all if you don’t want to. Oral, as with any other sexual experience, should be whatever you both find enjoyable.
Begin with some kisses–you can even tease him by kissing him seemingly everywhere else, getting closer and closer, but leaving him in suspense. Maybe start by kissing him on his chest and moving down and then at the last second, move toward focusing on his thighs, getting closer and closer… Then start kissing him there, and then lick it for a while, taking the time to explore. (Don’t be afraid to use the BIG/proper words. Especially since you use the terms later in this article and in the for her article.)
When you feel ready, you can move forward with your lips and put it in your mouth (sometimes it’s better to try not to think about it too much, especially if you haven’t tried it before). Continue to lick it while it’s in your mouth. Pull away whenever you need to.
Use Your Hands
Combining oral with a hand-job is a good way to give your jaw a break, and is also a great alternative to deep-throating. Whatever your method, the key is to focus on the tip. You may choose to suck on the tip while massaging his shaft with your hands or use your finger to massage his frenulum (the bump on the underside of his penis where the shaft meets the tip), while putting his shaft and your finger in your mouth.
Try Different Depths
When you put his penis in your mouth, you may want to start out with just the tip, but don’t be scared to go deeper. It can be fun to run your tongue across the shaft while it’s in or out of your mouth. When you feel comfortable, you may want to play with deep-throating as well. Pay attention to your own comfort level and how tired your jaw may be.
It can be surprisingly exciting to hear how excited he is, but in your excitement, remember not to be too rough. When it comes to speed, it may be better to start slow and let him more or less control the pace as you progress. As a general rule, don’t suck too hard.
Listen and Communicate
As mentioned above, you will likely hear him getting excited. Pay attention to what he seems to like more, and encourage him to verbally tell you if he likes something. Just as important, if not more important than listening, is to make sure you communicate. Discuss some ground rules beforehand. For example, let him know whether or not you want him to ejaculate in your mouth. You should also have some way to communicate during. You’ve probably heard of safe words, but if you’re giving oral, consider a “safe gesture” or simply make sure that you can always pull away to speak. Just as pulling away from a kiss should be an obvious gesture that the kiss needs to stop (even if it’s only a pause), make sure this same concept is clear to your partner when it comes to oral.
Remember to Breathe
If you start to feel overwhelmed while giving oral, but you want to keep going, try to focus on your breathing. Generally, you should breathe through your nose, but if you’re having difficulties for whatever reason, pull away to breathe and maybe stick to mostly licking.
Add Some Flavor
An easy way to make oral more fun for you is to add a little flavor. Whipped cream is a messy but classic option. You can always put a sexy twist to raiding the fridge or pantry. There are also many flavored creams, oils, and lubricants made specifically for oral. They can be surprisingly delicious and make your mouth and throat more comfortable for the whole experience. These can also be fun to mix flavors with flavored condoms.
Try It With A Condom
If you’ve been putting off trying oral because you’re scared of the “big moment,” consider using a condom, even just for the climactic ending. They do make flavored condoms for a reason, and if you can get past the super artificial banana flavor (there are more flavors, don’t worry), it is both comforting and satisfying to feel the big moment worry free.
Relax Your Throat and Lips
It sounds simple, but relaxing your mouth and throat will make the whole experience 1000 times easier for you, and will likely allow you to last longer without your jaw tightening up. Focus on moving your whole head and licking than sucking the whole time.
Consider Oral as Foreplay
Not only can giving oral be exhausting, but it is also exhausting for him, so don’t be surprised if he has trouble switching to PIV (can you expound on PIV, I’m not familiar with it) if he’s just ejaculated. If you also feel like you’re not ready to give him oral to completion, consider using it as sexy foreplay.
To Swallow or Not to Swallow
If you’re feeling daring, you can try swallowing, but you certainly don’t have to. This is where relaxing your throat will come in handy. However, the alternatives to swallowing are: spitting (in the shower or in a trashcan), using the aforementioned flavored condoms, or simply switching to PIV before you get to that point.
There are many toys for him which mimic the sensation of oral, so if you aren’t fully in the mood or simply need a break, consider that alternative. You may also want to use a toy for yourself so that he can pleasure you during or after if he gets too tired.
The most important thing is that you’re both having fun. A lot of the time we think of giving a man oral as a huge favor for him, but if you hate it, he’d really rather you didn’t force yourself to do it. Keep communication open and honest (but kind), and approach it with the attitude that it should make you feel sexy too. Try to keep an open mind and realize that your opinions may change later on.
If you are looking to explore as a couple check out this other article!